Lonely Won't Come Around
by Texboy525
Summary: Ben had to leave or at least he had no reason to stay.  So he went to London where he meets a messy haired, green-eyed boy who turns out to be the love of his life and none other than Harry Potter.  eventual SLASH OMC/Harry.
1. Chapter 1: Gotta Get Out

**A.N.: HEY! Hi this is my first story and there are a few things you need to know if your going to read this story, which I hope you will *crosses fingers*.  
>First, like I said, this is my first story, so please review though I will not stand for anyone who just rips down everything I write so please if you're not saying any thing helpful to me please don't say anything at all. Second, Ben (the OMC) is the main character not Harry though Harry is the next important character. This is the reason he will not appear till next chapter. Thirdly, Everything in Ben's past except the fight with Evan is true I am not telling you this to get sympathy, but because I believe it helps to understand where the ideas came from. Lastly, sorry this chapter is short but I needed to establish Ben's story that leads up to him meeting Harry next chapter.<strong>

**General Warnings: Slash AKA Yaoi AKA Gay sex, Language, abuse, suicidal thoughts, and just uncomfortable situations.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except plot and the character Ben (at least I hope I own a character rigidly based on me)**

**Thank you for reading. :)**

Chapter 1: Gotta Get Out

"I just can't get him outta my he-"

"THAT'S IT I'M DONE BEN" my 'friend' Evan screamed, "I CAN ONLY PUT UP WITH HEARING YOU BABBLE ABOUT HIM FOR SO LONG. I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO, TEXTING, OR EMAILING ME ANYMORE. I'M SICK OF DEALING WITH YOUR WHINY, GAY, HORMONAL ASS. I'M THROUGH WITH YOUR SHIT. I DON'T WANT YOU TO EVEN LOOK AT ME AGAIN." 'SLAM' and with that I lost my last real friend. I did the only thing I could think of at the time, I went up to my room and cried.

I started trying to think of what went wrong I used to have a good group of friends. It all started when I told Him I liked him as more than a friend he hasn't talked to me in over a year. Then Ross made that 'God hates gays' comment during an argument and I could never really forgive him no matter how much I wanted to. Now Evan was gone.

I felt so alone. This just added to the 'I should have never come out' fire. I just needed to leave, to get away from Ross, Evan, and especially Him.

So I got out my map of the world, closed my eyes, and stabbed my finger down. When I opened my eyes I noticed my finger landed on London, England.

'London I've always wanted to go there' I thought with a bittersweet smile. Was I really willing to leave everything I knew for a hope that when I get to London I'll meet someone? I didn't know if I was willing to take that risk. I mean I might not have any friends here but I still have my family, but they don't even know I'm gay. They could react worse than He did. They could disown me.

In the end I decided I would go for two weeks if I didn't meet anyone by then I would come back and I could just call it a 'nice' vacation. If I did happen to meet someone and I liked them I would see where it could go. That was my plan.

So I started packing dreaming of what the people I might meet would be like. Would they like the same music as me? I hoped so. My music is one of the most, if not the most, important thing in my life. Hopefully, I could show them some of my favorites. I continued to think like this the rest of the day, but it never even thought that the person I would meet would turn out to not only be my soulmate but the one and only Harry Potter.

**Thank you once again for reading. Hope it was good and I know it's short but chapter 2 is already 2,191 words and six pages. Might get longer might not all depends on what you (and my beta) say.  
>So PLEASE review. :3 <strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting my Love

**AN: HI again I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sorry that it took so long.  
>Also I know some people are annoyed when people put lyrics in their fics, but this will be a recurring thing in this one and probably most others I write (depending on whether this one goes well).<br>Anyway please at least read the first one because it gives some insight into Ben state of mind involving HIM.**

**Thanks to Synful Nocturne for my first review hope I did better this time, and to my beta Lindsey you are soooo awesome thank **

**Disclaimer: I still only own the plot and Ben.**

Chapter 2: Meeting My Love

I boarded the plane to London three days later with my laptop, my iPod, and a book or two. My parents only knew that Evan had yelled at me and stopped being my friend. They agreed that it would be a good thing for me to get away, but were apprehensive about me going to London for two weeks by myself, (they didn't know I might not come back) but I was able to convince them by simply stating that, "I want to have my own experiences not the ones you plan for me to have."

The first couple of days I did the tourist stuff, saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abby, the whole shebang then went back to the cute little locally-owned hotel I was staying at. The next couple of days I browsed boutiques with very chic, very expensive clothes which I didn't buy any of, because I knew to find the local malls and get the same clothes for much lower prices.

On about the sixth day I still hadn't met anyone, I guess the locals could spot a dumb American tourist from a mile away and chose to stay away, and was starting to regret this trip I thought at least I would make one friend even if it was a shallow relationship, but to meet no one at all was just depressing.  
>That morning I decided, unless things picked up, that I would probably go home in the next couple of days. I also decided that I wanted to go to Hyde Park that day, hoping that the beautiful day might help me feel better.<p>

So I found a bench and with my iPod I people-watched for about half an hour. Then, across the park I saw a boy, about my age (seventeen), with messy black shoulder-length hair, though it looked almost angelic on him.  
>Even from across the park I could tell he had lustrous green eyes, and DAMN he was built, but more in the sense of a swimmers body. I mean, he was skinny but still well muscled, which was easy to see since he was wearing an extra tight forest green shirt.<br>I was completely entranced by this mystery boy, at least until he noticed me. I looked away as quickly as I could but he had already seen me staring. He started walking towards me and I began to panic. I tried to get away but there seemed to be some unstoppable force was holding me there. I tried to look busy.

So I sat there nervously until he sat down next to me.

"Never seen you before, you from around here?" he asked. After about a minute of me mentally calming myself down from my slight panic attack, which I believed I was hiding very well, from fearing he would be mad at me for ogling him.  
>I managed to squeak out<p>

"No." He tried to hide his laughter because I guess it was obvious that I was terrified of him.

"Well then," he continued with the clear line of questions, "where are you from." After composing myself, hopefully better then the first time. I said shyly

"The States, Minnesota to be exact."

"Is that the one with all the lakes and the Mall of America?" He asks. I nod keeping my gaze down at my shoes. "So what are you doing so far from home? You clearly aren't just here to see the sights or else you wouldn't have been sitting here for the past half hour,"  
>I finally look up at him in astonishment wondering if he had been watching me as well. "And you're too young to be here on business. I would say you were here studying abroad but that a combination of both those explanations.<br>So the obvious answer is personal reasons, and I want to know what those reasons are. Sorry, I'm Harry by the way." He finished extending his hand.

"I'm Ben." I said shaking his hand, feeling slightly more relaxed. "I guess I'm here cuz I didn't have anything, or more accurately anyone, to hold me there, and I was hoping to find someone here."

"So you're looking for love?" He said with a suggestive glance.

"That be nice, but really if I could just find a really good friend. Someone to have a serious platonic relationship with, but finding someone to love would be amazing." I said staring dreamily into the distance.

"Well, I believe I can help you with that." I should have gotten whiplash from how fast I snapped my head back to him, thinking he had meant the second type of relationship "Would you like to be friends?"  
>At this I deflated a little, but still happily accepted. I looked down at my iPod. Harry noticed saying, "You really like music don't you?"<p>

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"It was the way you looked at you iPod like it was the most important thing in the world." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks at the absurd sound of that, but still knew it was true.  
>"What are you listening to?" He looked like he wanted to hear also.<p>

"You want to listen?" Harry nodded excitedly when I gave him an earbud then pressed play.

_I heard that you're settled down,  
><em>_That you found a girl and you're married now,  
><em>_I heard that your dreams came true,  
><em>_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,  
><em>_Old friend, why are you so shy?  
><em>_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,  
><em>_I had hoped you'd see my face,  
><em>_And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,_

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg,  
><em>_I remember you said,  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,"  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,_

_You know how the time flies,  
><em>_Only yesterday was the time of our lives,  
><em>_We were born and raised in a summer haze,  
><em>_Bound by the surprise of our glory days,_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,  
><em>_I had hoped you'd see my face,  
><em>_And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,_

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg,  
><em>_I remember you said,  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Nothing compares,  
><em>_No worries or cares,  
><em>_Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,  
><em>_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you,  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg,  
><em>_I remember you said,  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,  
><em>_Don't forget me, I beg,  
><em>_I remember you said,  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,"  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love,  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead._

At the end of the song Harry noticed the one tear working it's way down my cheek. He reached over and wiped it from my face. I gave him a small sad smile as if to say, 'thanks', then he asked,

"That song means a lot to you, doesn't it?" I nod trying to stop myself from crying. Harry noticing this as well, he very perceptive like that, said, "Maybe we should listen to a happier song."

"How 'bout we settle a happy-sounding song?" I said, already having the perfect song in mind.

"Isn't that the same thing?" He asked apparently confused.

"No, a song can sound happy but still have a sad or usually bittersweet message. Just like a sad sounding song could actually be about the happiest thing in the world." I explain.

"Oh," he said, focusing on the music as I press play.

_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
><em>_I just want to be ok today  
><em>_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
><em>_I just want to be ok today_

_I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
><em>_I just want to feel something today  
><em>_I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
><em>_I just want to feel something today_

_Open me up and you will see  
><em>_I'm a gallery of broken hearts  
><em>_I'm beyond repair, let me be  
><em>_And give me back my broken parts_

_I just want to know today, know today, know today  
><em>_I just want to know something today  
><em>_I just want to know today, know today, know today  
><em>_Know that maybe I will be ok  
><em>_Open me up and you will see  
><em>_I'm a gallery of broken hearts  
><em>_I'm beyond repair, let me be  
><em>_And give me back my broken parts_

_Just give me back my pieces  
><em>_Just give them back to me please  
><em>_Just give me back my pieces  
><em>_And let me hold my broken parts_

_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
><em>_I just want to be ok today  
><em>_I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok  
><em>_I just want to be ok today_

_I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today  
><em>_I just want to feel something today  
><em>_I just want to know today, know today, know today  
><em>_Know that maybe I will be ok  
><em>_Know that maybe I will be ok  
><em>_Know that maybe I will be ok_

"That did sound happy. So why do you think it's a sad song?" Harry asked as he gave me the earbud he had used and I put my iPod away.

"Well, it's more bittersweet than sad, because she's talking to her ex saying to 'give her back her pieces' which means that she wants to get over him, move on, and 'be ok,'  
>but she still has to deal with heartbreak and has to heal, which is almost always hard." I said looking down at my feet again.<p>

"Are you speaking from experience?" Harry asked

"Maybe" I said, really not wanting to go into the subject further.

"Come on Ben, we're friends right? Talk to me." Harry pushed. It took all my self control not to yell at my new friend.

"Harry! I will talk to you about so many things, but I am _not _ready to open that can of worms. So please drop it." I could not talk about why both of the songs felt extremely personal.  
>It would lead to talking about Him and I could not lose Harry the way I lost Evan.<p>

"Ok, but promise me when you're ready you'll talk to me. It's not healthy to bottle things up, no matter how hard it is to talk about it." Harry said looking slightly reminiscent.

"Are you speaking from personal experience?" I asked repeating his question and expecting a similar response since we had only just met.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am." He responded doing the complete opposite of what I expected. "Let's just say that I've created several strained relationships, because I have taken my anger out on the wrong person,"  
>seeing the nervousness in my eyes he added, "I've gotten much better at expressing my emotions in more healthy ways though." He smiled as he watched me relax. "You want to get something to eat? It's already 11:30."<br>I smiled back at him happy that he was offering to take me out to lunch when we've only been talking for about fifteen minutes.

"Definitely," I answer, "but you have to order for me. I've be told if you don't know what something is it's easy to get something you don't want."

"Okay, just tell me what you want and I'll make sure you get it." He explained. I beamed at him, saying,

"Thanks," then I hugged him, pulling back almost immediately after realizing what I was doing. "Sorry, I like hugs." I tell him, thinking the worse 'that he has personal space issues and he doesn't know me nearly well enough to be okay with that, so he's about to run away screaming.'  
>My gaze returns to the familiar place, looking at my feet. 'Well, Ben this is a new record. You made a new friend and fucked it up him in eighteen minutes flat. Good job idiot.' I started to think to myself until I felt two arms wrap around my waist. I look up and see Harry smiling down at me.<p>

"I like hugs too." He said as a wave of relief, so big it bring tears to my eyes, washed over me. I hug him back and it feels just so right. I pull back,

"Well, we should head to lunch." I said standing up, trying not to let Harry see my tears of joy, and start walking.

"Ben?"

"Yeah," I replied turning back to him.

"We're going this way." He said with a smile.

"Oh," I said meekly. "I knew that."

"Sure you did" Harry said, teasing me playfully, cuz that's what friends do.

**Thanks for reading. I hope you liked the songs as well as the chapter. Music will be an important way for Ben to express his emotions like Harry said he should so expect more but I try to limit them to only when they are meaningful to the plot. The songs were Someone Like You by Adele (LOVE HER SOOO MUCH) and Be Ok by Ingrid Michaelson.**

**Next Time: The Lunch date and Ben learns the truth about Harry! XD (Sooo excited to write it) I'll try to get it in by 4/17.  
>Thanks again and PLEASE review! X3<br>P.S. If you want to guess about what He (not Harry just the jerk-who-shall-not-be-named-till-later-in-the-story) did to Ben please PM me and I'll be happy to tell you if you're right or not. If you have any other questions about Ben's past or anything else about the story also just PM me.**


	3. Chapter 3: YOU'RE THAT HARRY?

**Hey everyone I realize I'm cutting it close, but my usual beta got a job and is kinda low on time to read. :(  
>Luckily I have a second one though I was hoping to get two opinions. So here you are.<br>Also I realize that in the warnings on the first chapter I put slash. I just wanted to say that won't happen for a few more chapters. Ben's scared :(  
>So, if that's the reason you're here you can either hold out or leave.<strong>

**Disclaimer: Though I'd love to be able to play with Harry, Draco, and everyone else, I don't own Harry Potter. Plus side I can play with Ben 'cause he's mine. ;) **

**Thank you to harrymania 1978 for my second review: You were short sweet and to the point. Happy to be of service.**

Chapter 3: YOU'RE THAT HARRY!

Harry and I walked for about twenty minutes before getting to the café we were going to eat at. The whole way there he kept one arm wrapped around my shoulders,  
>earning a few weird looks from other people on the street obviously thinking we were a couple. I knew better though,<br>I knew Harry just did it as a comforting gesture knowing I would enjoy the contact, which I did, maybe a little too much.

'_There's no way he likes me that way he's probably not even gay. You can't do this Ben, this is how you lost_ Him _and you don't want to lose Harry too.'_

'_**But what if he is gay and he's just waiting for you to make the first move?'**_

'_We just met! Even if he is gay, trying something now could ruin any chance at a relationship or even a friendship. I just have to wait-"_

"Ben? Hello, are you in there?" Harry said waving his hand in front of my face, effectively snapping me out of whatever trance I was in.

"Wha? Sorry Harry, guess I just kinda zoned out for a minute there." I said trying to recover what ever shreds of dignity I had left.

"It's okay I was going to let you continue on in your little daydream, but we're here." He said spreading his arms out in a presenting manner.

"OH MY GOD! It's SOOO cute." I nearly squeal (a very manly squeal I'll have you know) as Harry laughed at my display. It was little locally owned café,  
>locally owned is always best when traveling it gives you a good feeling of the people and culture.<p>

We got a little table in the back and Harry kept hiding his face from the hostess and waiter.  
>Which struck me as weird because if I had a face as gorgeous as Harry's I wouldn't hide it from anyone. I didn't ask him about it though.<p>

Harry asked about my interests, my family, and anything else besides friends and relationships, which I was eternally grateful for.  
>Harry didn't talk about himself much and dodged questions about friends and especially family,<br>seeing his resistance to talk about it I left it alone and continued to let him grill me. I figured if he's considerate enough to stay away from touchy subjects then so can I.

Halfway through lunch the moment happened that told me my...affection towards Harry wasn't as one-sided as I thought.  
>It was the whole 'we both reach for the salt at the same time and our hands touch and we quickly pull back both redder than a tomato' moment.<br>I was still scared about trying anything too soon so I let it go. Harry didn't seem to notice my embarrassment or at least that's what I thought until we left.

We were walking down the street, without his arm around me which kinda made me sad, when he said,

"So was it just me or did you blush when I touched your hand?" preparing for the worst, I only nod looking down at my feet, again.  
>'I need to stop doing this. I probably look so weak and small. I bet even if he was gay and was interested he wouldn't want to be with someone as pathetic as me.'<br>After finishing my self-lothing rant I look up to see that Harry is still there, putting his arms around me again.

Having Harry's arms around me made me feel a little better, but he just felt sorry for me. He didn't actually like me. Right?

"I like you too." He whispered in my ear. My heart almost leaped up my throat and out my mouth all over Harry.  
>Luckily I didn't, because if I had Harry probably wouldn't have pulled me into an alley and gave me the most loving, passionate kiss ever.<br>His lips were so soft and so plump. It took me a minute to realize what was happening but after I did I was determined to become an active participant, but something stopped me.  
>I realized what it was and pushed Harry off me, as much as I hated to do so.<p>

"Harry, you don't want to do this. Y-you don't want me. I'm damaged. I'm not worthy of you or any one else." I said softly with tears in my eyes.  
>I was about to run when Harry grabbed me and pulled me back into the alley.<p>

"Ben, look at me," he said in a demanding, but still comforting tone. My eyes continued to examine my feet. "Ben. Look at me."  
>He said gently grabbing my chin with his free hand, and forcing me to look at him. He then saw the tears running down my face.<br>His expression changed from a slightly disappointed frown to a sad smile.

"Ben, I don't care if you're damaged because I'm probably damaged just as much as you, if not more so," he said wiping my tears with his thumb.  
>He also let go of my arm, he must have known I wouldn't run. "I like you a lot. You're clever, smart, caring, and cute. You're not just cute, you're beautiful and sexy."<br>I blushed no one had ever called me beautiful or sexy. "I also know that you like me too because if you didn't you would have ran off when I let go"

"Harry, I do like you too, so much. But, I-I don't want you to have to worry about my baggage." I whispered through tears.

"Ben," he said, in what had to be the most caring voice ever, "I've already told you I probably have loads more baggage than you do, and I can prove it."

"How?" I asked gazing into those magnificent emeralds Harry called eyes.

"Well, you know how everyone was staring at us?" I nod. "Well, they weren't staring at us really, not to say you're not something to stare at,"  
>I blushed even deeper at this and try to look anywhere else besides at him but he has a firm grip on my chin. "The reason they were staring at me is because,<br>I can't believe I'm telling you this you'll never believe me, okay. The reason they were staring at me is because, I'm Harry Potter." That's when everything went black.

* * *

><p>A while later I hear a frantic-sounding voice, "Ben? Ben! Oh Merlin Ben, wake up. Please. Ben? Ben?" I crack my eyes open to see Harry,<br>his beautiful face haloed be the sun. "BEN!" He screams seeing me awake squeezing me to the point where I almost blacked out again.  
>"I was <em>so <em>worried. I thought something really bad happened to you. You okay right nothing broken right." I take a second to check myself and shake my head.  
>"OH THANK GOD! I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you," and with that he gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.<p>

"So, if I remember correctly you were trying to convince me that you're a children's book character and I guess along with that a wizard?" I asked trying to decide whether I believed him.

"Heh. I guess." He certainly didn't sound believable. Then, as he helped me up I saw all the proof I needed. Behind his sexy fringe, _'did I just think that?'_ there it was the tell-tale lightening bolt scar.

"Oh my god, you really are him aren't you?" _HARRY POTTER_ only nods. It was his turn to examine _his_ feet. "H-how is this p-possible?"  
>I felt the blackness start to close in again and my legs give out. Luckily, Harry caught me and he look directly into my eyes.<br>I almost didn't care how he was there, I was just happy he was. "You're a _FICTIONAL CHARACTER_, not that I'm complaining,"  
>I said nuzzling deeper into his shoulder noticing he smelled like a spring rain, "but how are you here, holding me."<p>

"Well, it's a really long, complicated story-"

"And like we've discussed I don't have anyone waiting for me, anywhere." I interrupt.

"Okay but I need you to save all questions until the end, understand?" I just nod and smile sleepily.  
>"So I guess you've read all the books, seen all movies?" I nod again. "Well, J.K. found me a few years back and asked me to tell her my life story.<br>The problem was there were a few things she decided to change, probably to get the books to sell better.  
>The most important being that I defeated Voldemort at the end of my sixth year not my seventh, I'm obviously still in school,<br>though next year will be my last, and I definitely didn't marry Ginny Weasley." I let out a sigh of relief, Harry smiled.  
>"Also not nearly as many people died in the final battle. Fred, Colin, and Sirius all lived and George never lost his ear,<br>I'll never figure out how she thought of that one of all the things to lose, _an ear_?" I laugh at this but then stop realizing everything I had said before I collapsed.

"Oh my God, Harry I can't believe I was so insensitive of course you have more baggage than I do. I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry. I was-MMPH!"  
>My babbling apology was cut short by Harry's soft lips, which I wholeheartedly enjoyed.<p>

"There's nothing to be sorry about, you didn't know." He said beaming at me again. _'God I LOVE that smile!"_

"I know but still I'm sorry. No one should have had to go through half of what you've gone through. I know I would have cracked after Cedric, that did happen right?"  
>All Harry did was nod and for the first time since I met him Harry looked solemn. "Sorry. What about Remus and Tonks?" As soon as the words left my mouth I knew the answer.<br>Harry no longer looked solemn. Now, he looked downright depressed. I knew it was my turn to comfort Harry. I wrapped my arms around him.  
>He looked up, "Sorry, I'm so so sorry. Does that mean you're Teddy's legal guardian?" The mention of Teddy Lupin seem to make Harry perk up a little.<br>"Harry, seeing as how my baggage won't be much of a problem. I was wondering if..._youwantedtobemyboyfriend?"  
><em>Harry's expression was now confused which, though I didn't like it much, I decided was definitely better than the depressed look he was sporting a second ago.

"Would you mind repeating that?" he asked. So, I took a deep breath and tried again,

"I was wondering if y-you wanted to be my b-boyfriend?" I had just enough time to get the question out before Harry pounced on me and kissed me passionately again.  
>When he detached his mouth from mine I said, "Darn, I was hoping you'd say yes." Harry smiled and said,<p>

"Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes!" punctuating each yes with a kiss. "And as your boyfriend I demand that you check out of whatever hotel you're staying at and come live with me and Teddy."

"REALLY? You sure?" Harry nodded and then it was his turn to get pounced on. "Well, if you insist." I said as he held me in his strong arms.

"Yes I do. Merlin, Teddy will love you." He said flashing that wonderful smile.

"Really, you sure? I'm mean how old is he? Does he know you're gay? Does he even understand what being gay means? Is he really a whatchamacallit, what Tonks was?"

"Love, you're babbling again." I beamed at being called 'love' "Teddy's eight, he does know I'm gay and what I means,  
>and yes he is a metamorphmagus, also because I know you're going to ask, he's not a werewolf although he does have some wolfish tendencies.<br>You know keener sense of smell, extremely protective of family, stuff like that. "

"Oh that's good, him knowing you're gay and not being a werewolf I mean. Will he be okay with me, I mean with the whole overprotective thing."

"He'll love you. I'm sure." Harry said, reassuring me.

"Well, then I guess we should go pack my stuff up although I don't have much."

"That's okay, and just in case you had any doubts we'll apparate there."

"WHAT? Harry! No! Please don't! I believe you." I begged but it was too late we were gone.

**Thanks to all you readers, PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks also to Evan (yes the one from chapter one, but he's a real nice guy,) for being my reserve beta.**

**Next Time: Harry introduces Ben to Teddy. Then a mysterious man with clown make-up attacks Ben while Harry's away.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL**


	4. Chapter 4: I Love You, I Need You

**Hello bet you guys didn't see this coming DOUBLE UPDATE! XD Hope you enjoy. Go back to chapter 3 if you haven't already read it.**

**Warnings: Mentions of rape and abuse, fluff, song and back story**

**Disclaimer: Once again unless J.K. is feeling really generous. I don't own Harry Potter. My consolation prize is Ben which I'm happy with.**

Chapter 4: I Love You, I Need You

J.K. had no idea what she was talking about when she described the feeling of apparition. Imagine ripping off you arm and then reattaching it.  
>It's like that except with every cell in your body. "HOW THE BLOODY HELL COULD ANYONE EVER GET USED TO THAT?" I yelled at my <em>boyfriend<em> (it feels so good saying that).

"Ben, oh Merlin, Ben I forgot how bad it can be the first time I'm sorry." I just huffed and went into my hotel room and locked the door, but I still began packing.  
>Even though I was mad didn't mean I wasn't going to live with him, I still lo-liked him. "Ben?" I turned around and there he was standing in the hallway.<p>

"How did you get in here?" I demand still a little mad about the apparition thing.

"Uh, Hello? Magic." He said smirking and twirling his wand in his hand.

"But you can't use magic till you're seventeen." I said knowing that J.K. must have gotten that right.

"And how do you know I'm not seventeen?" he asked still smirking.

"Because your birthday is July 31 and since you just finished your sixth year you won't be seventeen for another month." I said triumphantly knowing I won.

"And that's why I'm with you because you're so smart." He said kissing me on the cheek. "As for the reason I can use magic,  
>after saving all the magical and muggle worlds the Ministry decided I was entitled to a few benefits." He smirked again.<p>

"Be careful if you get any more arrogant you'll turn into a Malfoy." I said laughing.

"Hey, Draco isn't that bad." He said which surprised me.

"Since when are you two so chummy that you can tell how bad he is?"

"Well, we dated a couple years back."

"Really never thought Malfoy was gay or your type, then again until a few minutes ago I never thought Malfoy was real."

"Yeah, he was loving and caring and everything you could want, but something was missing."

"Oh yeah, what was that?" I asked trying to be as seductive as possible. Harry started, Um, I guess sauntering is the only way to describe it, towards me.

"Well, I don't know but," He whispered into my ear, "you've got it." '_Okay he wins. He is _much_ more seductive than I am.'_

"I-I b-better f-f-finish packing." I stutter out, trying to ignore how hot and sexy Harry looked.

"Let me help." I had to take a deep breath to control myself as Harry walked up behind me.

"Okay." I said avoiding eye contact knowing it would put me right back where I was a couple seconds ago.

A few minutes later we were finished packing and ready to go to _POTTER MANOR_. Harry was holding me again _'Merlin I'm such a girl.'  
><em>I asked, "Harry can we not apparate to your place, please?" I was so scared to do that again. Harry must have sensed this, because he kissed the top of head and said,

"We never have to do it ever again if you don't want to." I snuggled closer to him and kissed him as a 'thank you.' "I guess we'll just have to use the floo, then."  
>I nodded, I was nervous about using floo powder but not nearly as much as I was scared of apparating, even it was with Harry.<br>"I'll go first to make sure you know where to get out, okay?" I nodded again and Harry gave my another kiss, before we both grabbed some floo powder.  
>Harry stepped into the floo threw the green ash down and almost yelled "Potter Manor," then he was gone it took a lot of my willpower to push away the thought that he abandoned me,<br>but I shook that thought away, stepped into the floo and just like Harry had done I threw down the ash and yelled,

"Potter Manor." Room after room passed in front of me. It wasn't till the eighth or ninth that I saw him, Harry,  
>I actually jumped from the floo and would've fell flat on my face if my <em>boyfriend<em> wasn't there to catch me, but he was and I somehow knew he always would be.

"Little eager there aren't we?" Harry asked smiling.

"I just couldn't wait to be with you again."

"You just saw me less than two minutes ago."

"So I'm not allowed to miss you?" Harry never got to answer because at that moment a little boy with the same hair and eyes as Harry walked in.

"PRONGSLET! YOU'RE BACK." I had to move quickly because Teddy hadn't noticed me yet and was running to jump into Harry's arms.

"Hi, Teddy" Harry said beaming, and from those two words you could see how Harry loved Teddy like he was his own.  
>"Yes, Teddy I missed you too, but you were very rude to our guest." It was then that Teddy finally took notice of me,<br>and hung his head in an ashamed manner and said to me,

"I'm sorry for being so rude." I could tell that Teddy was more sad that he disappointed Harry instead of that he had been rude to me,  
>but he was only eight so I didn't care. I knelt down next to him so I was at his eye level.<p>

"It's okay. In fact, I did the same thing when I came out of the floo and I had only seen him a minute before." I said trying to get across the idea that I lov-liked Harry too.

"Really?" Teddy asked looking at me with wide eyes. I nodded. "Oh, who are you?" He asked quite unceremoniously. Harry smiled and said,

"This is Ben. He's from the states and he's my new boyfriend." Teddy nodded in understanding. "Since he doesn't have anyone at home he's gonna stay with us. Okay?"  
>I realized that the future of my relationship rested in the hands of this little boy, I just hoped Harry taught him how to share.<p>

Teddy thought about it for a minute, sizing me up, then nodded and said,

"I like you, so you can date Progslet." Teddy beamed at me

"Why thank you, Teddy and I like you too." I smiled right back and continued. "Now, am I allowed to call him Progslet or do I have to think up my own cute nickname?"  
>I smirked in Harry's direction who looked like he was dreading the idea<p>

"Only _I_ can call him Prongslet, thank you for asking though."

"Well, I better get working then," I thought for a minute then it came to me, "I've got it, Ry." Teddy smiled at the name while Harry groaned.  
>"What's the matter love? Don't like it? Okay, how about Har-Har?" This time Harry looked like he could ring my neck.<br>"So, Ry it is then." I said with such a smug look it would given Draco a run for his money.

Harry and I played with Teddy for a while before Harry said he had to go to his grandmother, Andromeda's house for a few days.  
>I was kinda sad I really liked Teddy, he was such an adorable kid. I was happy though because once Harry got back we could talk and kiss and talk some more,<br>maybe he would want to listen to more of my music. I hoped so.

Harry and Teddy apparated to Andromeda's. Harry was worried but I said I would be fine.  
>Harry was going to stay there for a little while and make sure Teddy got settled and would be back in an hour tops.<br>I waved to them as they walked out the door to get past the apparition wards, turned around,

"How did you-mmph," there was a very large man with clown make-up on and now his hand over my mouth.

"Oh you're cute." He said with the most malicious smirk on his face. What happened next only further proved my theory that all clowns are evil.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry's POV<strong>

After I was sure Teddy was set I was walking to the edge of Andromeda's apparition wards at an almost jog wanting to get back to Ben.  
>I was about to apparate when someone pushed me down. I looked up seeing a very large man with clown make-up twirling a knife in his hand.<p>

"The Famous Mr. Potter," he said in a way that reminded me of my first potions lesson with Snape. "You're cute, not as cute as your new twink though."

"How do you know Ben?" I demanded, thinking Ben might have left the States because this creep, though I couldn't see Ben finding Clownface attractive.

"Oh, we only met a little while ago. We talked and then I left, but not before having some fun with the cutie."  
>He said this with such a malicious smile that I was sure Ben didn't enjoy this 'fun.' Then I started to panic what if he had hurt Ben.<br>_"Oh Merlin, I need to get back to him." _I then realized I was on the outside of the apparition wards, so I did the obvious thing and apparated hopefully leaving Clownface dumbfounded.

I got back to the manor and sprinted to the door,

"BEN! BEN, WHERE ARE YOU? BEN?" I kept yelling and yelling fearing the worse. _"He can't be dead I've only just found him."  
><em>Then, on the second floor landing there was a trail of blood leading to the master bathroom where I found Ben in the fetal position on the floor of the shower. _"He looks so broken."  
><em>I thought as a tear ran down my cheek

* * *

><p><strong>Ben's POV<strong>

I still felt so dirty after what Clownface did over a half hour before, when he left I dragged my bloody, broken, naked body to the closest bathroom.  
>"Gotta get clean. Gotta get him off me." I whispered to myself. I turned on the shower on then I heard the front door open.<br>_"Oh Merlin he's back for round two!"_ I thought until I heard,

"BEN! BEN, WHERE ARE YOU? BEN?" That voice sent waves of relief through me. I knew I was safe, Harry was here, everything was going to be okay.  
>I tried to call the boy I love-yes loved, but my voice wouldn't work I probably had already screamed myself horse. He found my a few seconds later though.<br>"Oh Merlin, Ben? Ben I'm here," he ran over and wrap his arms around my broken, sobbing form and just rocked me and let me cry.  
>The whole time whispering, "I'm here. Everything will be fine."<p>

"Harry," I whispered through my sobs.

"What is it, love?" He said caressing my cheek in a comforting manner.

"I'll understand if..."

"What will you understand?"

"If you want me to leave. I'm dirty, sullied, disgusting. I shouldn't have let him do that to me, I should have fought back." I whispered before breaking down again.

"No,no,no, never ever think this was at all your fault and never ever ever think I would make you leave, especially when you're like this."  
>He said in a gentle whisper, still rocking me like a child. "I saw that beast," he said with disgust. "You couldn't have done anything.<br>So don't you dare blame yourself, okay?" I nodded calming myself down. "D-did he r-rape you." I nodded and lost it again.  
>"Oh baby, baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to protect you. Oh Merlin I should have been here." He said with tears in his eyes.<p>

"I-it's not your fault, you couldn't have known, you can't save everyone." I said the end with a slight smile. "H-Harry, " he looks at me. "I l-love you, I need you." Harry smiled at this,

"I love you too, Ben, and I'll always be here. I'll find that bastard and I will kill him for what he did to you-"

"No" I yell. Well, it was at normal speaking volume, but at the time it was yelling for me. "I won't let you,"  
>Harry opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "At least not alone. He stole my virginity and he WILL pay."<br>I finished with a determined look. Harry looked as though he, understandably, wanted to keep me as far away as possible from Clownface, but he agreed.

I realized while he was sitting here fully clothed in the shower with he recently raped boyfriend, who he met less than half a day ago.  
>I have the best boyfriend ever, most would've taken off when they saw me, some might have been considerate enough to call 911 or whatever it is in London.<br>Instead, my Harry, _"'My Harry' that sounds beautiful,"_ was right here in front of me helping me wash away my blood and Clownface's semen.  
>I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "Thank you, Harry," in his ear before passing out from a combination of exhaustion and trauma.<p>

* * *

><p>Harry must have carried me to his bed because, when I came to that's where I was looking at a pair of beautiful emerald eyes. "Harry, did I faint again?" I asked already knowing the answer.<p>

"Yeah you did love. Do you want to get up?" I shook my head.

"No, I want to lay here with you and do what I originally planned to do," Harry raised an eyebrow. "Talk with you." Harry nodded,

"Ben?" He asked. "Can we talk about the reason your here?"

"I thought I already told you, I love you and I need you and you're never getting rid of me so deal with it, love." I said giving him a peck on the nose.

"No, Ben I mean why you're came to London."

"Oh, um, okay should I just start?" Harry nodded and wrapped his arms around me for the comfort he already knew I would need.

"Okay, so about a year ago I came out to myself I guess, my family went to a clothing optional beach in Spain and instead of ogling the half naked girls I found myself looking for fully naked guys.  
>When we got back I wrestled with the idea of who I should come out to first. I knew I wanted to pick someone who I was pretty sure would be okay with it.<br>If they rejected me I wouldn't come out to anyone for along time. I chose my three closest guy friends, Ross, Evan, and Brandon. The thing was I was completely and totally in love with Brandon.  
>He seemed so nice and so caring." My eyes were starting to blur with tears.<p>

"One night we were camping and he saw I was a little depressed so he started listing off things he admired and liked about me.  
>He seemed so accepting so I thought he was my safety person. He seemed to take it well even when I told him I had a crush on him.<br>Then I noticed he started edging away. He wouldn't let me near him. He wouldn't touch me anymore. I mean he used to practically drape himself over me,  
>in a totally platonic way though. That was around when he cutoff all communication with no explanation. That was about eight months ago.<br>Somewhere along the way my relationships with Ross and Evan became strained, but everything seemed to be okay.  
>Until about a week ago when Evan blew up at me saying he couldn't deal with my 'whiny, gay, hormonal ass.' I had lost my last friend and that's when I decided to come here."<br>I finished on the verge of breaking down. Harry just tightened his grip on me and stayed silent for a while, which I was thankful for, I needed a minute to gather myself.

"I'm really sorry he did that to you, Ben. You didn't deserve that." Harry said a few minutes later. He was still holding me on his bed and my head was resting on his chest.

"The worst part was until I came here I couldn't stop thinking about him. I missed him so much. I still do a little." I said still trying not to break down.

"I want you to sing for me." He said out of nowhere.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him with a confused expression.

"I want you to sing about what you feel. You said you have trouble expressing your emotions, especially the negative ones, in a positive way.  
>So, I thought if you sing to me about Brandon and how you felt it will not only help you express yourself but also help me understand."<br>He said with an expression that told me he was serious. I swallowed nervously,

"O-okay" I said as I shakily sat up. I took a breath and started.

_All I know is that you're so nice  
><em>_You're the nicest thing I've seen  
><em>_I wish that we could give it a go  
><em>_See if we could be something_

_I wish I was your favourite girl  
><em>_I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world  
><em>_I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile  
><em>_I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style_

_I wish you couldn't figure me out  
><em>_But you always wanna know what I was about  
><em>_I wish you'd hold my hand  
><em>_When I was upset  
><em>_I wish you'd never forget  
><em>_The look on my face when we first met_

_I wish you had a favourite beauty spot  
><em>_That you loved secretly  
><em>_'Cause it was on a hidden bit  
><em>_That nobody else could see_

_Basically, I wish that you loved me  
><em>_I wish that you needed me  
><em>_I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,  
><em>_Actually I meant three_

_I wish that without me your heart would break  
><em>_I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake  
><em>_I wish that without me you couldn't eat  
><em>_I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep_

_Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen  
><em>_And I wish that we could see if we could be something  
><em>_Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something_

Harry looked at me and pulled me back down into his arms.

"Do you really feel like that way about him." He asked not looking at me. I started thinking that he thought he was like second prize for me.  
>I gently grabbed his chin and turned his head to face me.<p>

"I'll admit I used to, but now I have you," Harry visibly relaxed at that, "and with you I don't have to wish 'cause we are something, we're much better than something.  
>We're together and will be for a long, long time. Right?" I asked.<p>

"Wouldn't have it any other way, love." He said smiling and I pulled him in for a wonderfully passionate kiss.

"Thank you, Ry" I said breaking the kiss. "I think I'm going to sleep now. I'm tired." I said getting up.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked looking sad.

"To the guest room." I answered thinking it was obvious.

"Well, you know, you could stay in here," Harry said hopefully, "but I understand if you don't want to yet."

"And that's why I will," I said smiling as I got back into the bed, "because you won't do anything I'm not ready to do, and that means a lot."  
>Harry beamed at me and we returned to the position we were in a little bit ago. Harry with his arms around my waist pulling me towards him and me with my head on his chest.<p>

"Ben, would you like it if the gang came over tomorrow? I want them to meet you and you to meet them and everything.  
>It would be Ron, Hermione, Dean, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Fred, George, Seamus, Blaise, Sirius, Severus, Colin, and Draco." He said then added,<br>"I totally understand if you're not ready to see people yet though. You can meet them later."

"Once again, you've said the right thing." I said smirking up at him. "I would love to meet everyone, and I'm not even nervous about Draco.  
>WAIT! Did you say Snape's coming? Why? I thought he was dead." I practically screamed the last part, and Harry laughed at my reaction.<p>

"No, Sev isn't dead, and he's coming because Sirius and him are engaged." Harry said. My jaw dropped.

"Sirius and Snape? I thought they hated each other?"

"You also thought Draco and I hated each other and we were together for ten months." Harry said smugly.

"And I see he rubbed off on you." Harry hit me with a pillow at this point. "OW!"

"Go to sleep." He said as he got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I said, sad at the loss of my new favorite pillow.

"To the library, just want to check something." I got up to follow him. "No, you stay here and get some rest you've had a horrible day." I shook my head.

"I-I don't want to be alone." I said somewhat ashamed at my show of weakness. Harry sadly smiled and gestured for me to follow.

"Come on then." I followed Harry to the library which was _HUMONGOUS! _Harry quickly found the book he was looking for _Rituals: The Forgotten.  
><em>I briefly wondered why he wanted that book, but Harry ushered me back to the bedroom and I was quickly asleep knowing Harry would protect me. Always.

**What could Harry want with a book on rituals? HMMM I know but I'm not telling at least until next chapter. Much Love. Please review. X3**

**Next time: Ben meets the gang. Harry preforms a ritual for Ben.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL! **


	5. Nightmares, New Friends, and Rituals

**A/N: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR THIS CRIMINALLY LONG WAIT. I HAVE MANY REASONS STARTING WITH FINALS, THEN ORIENTATION, THEN COMING OUT TO MY PARENTS ONLY A WEEK AGO. (They were very accepting. :D) Also I was worried about writing the beginning of this chapter, it's my first attempt at writing anything sexual and was mush more graphic in my head. Anyway I know nothing I say can serve as a proper excuse but still. Sorry! :(**

**CrimsonRoselnFullBloom: Thanks I really like my OC too, though that's because he's very close to how I see myself. This story is present day but I moved the Harry Potter timeline up so Harry's only between his Sixth and Seventh years.**

**loves-unwanted-qeen: Yeah I almost didn't put the rape in the story but I felt that I needed an antagonist or else this would just turn into a big ball of fluff.**

**alba angelo: I'm sorry to make you wait so long but now I got my own laptop (his name is Jerry) and don't have to fight my mom or a parental control lock so I should get back to a somewhat regular updating schedule.**

**Disclaimer: The song in the last chapter was The Nicest Thing by Kate Nash, and this chapter there are Heal Over by KT Tunstall and Where I Stood by Missy Higgins. I only own Ben.**

**Big Hugs to my new beta and bestest best friend Jaci! X***

**Enjoy Chapter 5 and please review I know that there are definitely things to criticize, but please no flames.**

Chapter 5: Nightmares, New Friends, and Rituals

_It was dark. _

_Pitch black. _

_Where was I? I look around for something, anything, but there is nothing. _

_And then out of the black HE comes, Clownface!_

"_NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I scream unable to move as he continues to advance on me._

"_Did you really think I wouldn't come back? You were just so good last time." He snarls as I notice his clothes are gone._

"_NO! YOU WON'T DO THAT TO ME AGAIN! HARRY WON'T LET YOU!" I scream. _

"_Oh yes I will." I turn and see Harry, MY Harry looking just as sinister as Clownface._

"_You see little one, your boyfriend isn't going to help you, in fact he will sit here and watch as I fuck you again and again and again until you die or pass out, whichever comes first." Clownface states looking completely giddy at the idea of raping me again._

"_HARRY! YOU PROMISED ME, YOU SAID HE WOULDN'T HURT ME AGAIN! YOU SAID YOU __**LOVED **__ME! HOW CAN YOU LET HIM DO THIS!" I scream tears pouring down my face._

"_Love you?" Harry says laughing, "Why would I possibly want to be with someone as pathetic and broken as you? I'm Harry freaking Potter I could have anyone I want, why would I settle for you?" I sink down to the ground tears still streaming down my face as Clownface advances his disgusting erection bobbing as he walks._

_He reaches me and rips my clothing off, I don't fight it, if Harry doesn't care what reason do I have to continue? Clownface enters me without preparing me and tears a wail from my throat. Harry just sits there and laughs as Clownface pounds into me again and again and again. After the first few minutes, all I can do is whimper and cry, no struggling, no fighting, I just sit there and take every soul-stealing thrust. He finishes inside me, and the last thing I can whisper before I pass out is..._

"_Harry, why?"_

I wake to feel tears still streaming down my face and Harry trying desperately to wake me up.

"Oh Ben, I was so scared you wouldn't stop screaming and I couldn't wake up." Harry cries relieved wrapping his arms around me, or at least he tries to but I scramble to the other end of the bed trying to get as much distance as possible between the two of us.

"If you were so scared why didn't you stop him? Why did you just sit there and watch while he did it again?" I say in an eerily calm voice glaring at him.

"What? What are you talking about? I don't understand." I only just register the confused look on his face.

"He came back. He did it again. And you sat there and watched as I cried and screamed for you. You said you could never want someone as pathetic and broken as me." I spit at him. Recognition appears on his face.

"Oh love, I'm sorry," he says keeping his distance worried that I probably couldn't handle the touch. "But it was just a nightmare and I want you and you are not pathetic and you are not broken-"

"Yes, I am." I whisper.

"Then we'll fix you together, okay?" he soothes scooting closer but carefully not touching me, scared I'll breakdown again. "I promised he wouldn't hurt you again and I'll do everything I can to stop him."

I look up at Harry, his eyes are filled with tears as well. I nod. He finally wraps his arms around me and I cry into his shoulder. Harry whispers things like "everything's okay now", "I'm here", and "You're safe.", rocking us, and then he begins to sing...

_It isn't very difficult to see why  
><em>_You are the way you are  
><em>_Doesn't take a genius to realize  
><em>_That sometimes life is hard  
><em>_It's gonna take time  
><em>_But you'll just have to wait  
><em>_You're gonna be fine  
><em>_But in the meantime_

_Come over here lady  
><em>_Let me wipe your tears away  
><em>_Come a little nearer baby  
><em>_Coz you'll heal over  
><em>_Heal over  
><em>_Heal over someday_

_And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself  
><em>_That these feelings are in the past  
><em>_You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf  
><em>_Because pain's built to last  
><em>_Everybody sails alone  
><em>_But we can travel side by side  
><em>_Even if you fail  
><em>_You know that no one really minds  
><em>_Come over here lady_

_Don't hold on but don't let go  
><em>_I know it's so hard  
><em>_You've got to try to trust yourself  
><em>_I know it's so hard, so hard_

_Come over here lady  
><em>_Let me wipe your tears away  
><em>_Come a little nearer baby  
><em>_Coz you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday._

I finally stop crying as he finishes the song.

"Thank you, I needed that." I whisper snuggling into his shoulder. "I'm sorry I accused you of not caring. I know you do."

"Don't apologize, you were scared, confused, and you felt betrayed, just remember I will be here as long as you want me." He reassures kissing my hair. "We'll get through this and we'll get that bastard, so he can never hurt you or anyone else again."

I nod into his shoulder, then look around at Harry's room. It's really big, you could easily park three or four minivans in it. Everything was different hues and intensities of red or blue, it looked calming but not boring. The bed we were lying on could easy fit half of the Weasleys in it, and it was so warm and comfortable, though that might've had more to do with Harry and less the bed itself.

"What time is it?" I ask. Harry casts a Tempus charm.

"About half six. Do you want to go back to sleep or do you want to get up?"

"Let's get up. I want to get ready for every one, when are they coming again?"

"Around ten. They'll come over, meet you, have lunch, and then I have a surprise for you." Harry says, a grin appearing on his face as I go from relaxed to curious in a second.

"Really? Would this surprise have anything to do with that book you got last night?"

"Maybe." He winks at me then kisses me on the cheek and heads to the bathroom.

I flop back down on the bed and take a minute to think about what has happened in less then a day. I had met the man of my dreams, who turned out to be the main character in my favourite book series, discovered magic, had my first kiss and Harry agreed to be my first boyfriend, met his adorable godson, then got raped. Yeah, so yesterday may have ended on a bad note but I couldn't bring myself to care, Harry said he loved me and that he would protect me and I believed him.

I began to feel a little bad. I could tell Harry was putting on a strong face for me as he lead me downstairs for breakfast. That wasn't fair, here I was falling to pieces every five-seconds and Harry hadn't had the chance to vent.

"Harry?" I ask cautiously while he is making us pancakes.

"Mmm?"

"I was just thinking, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He asks as he sets the pancakes on the table and sits down.

"Well, it's just, all of this has happened so fast and, I don't know, are you sure that you're okay?"

"Are you saying that you don't want to be here anymore?" He asks confused.

"No, that is the opposite of what I'm saying." I reply quickly hoping to relieve any doubts he might have. "I just mean I've been able to react to everything, forcing you to be strong, and I thought it was unfair that I'm able to get everything out and you sit there being caring and loving but still stoic. I just want to know if you're okay, you said it yourself you are just as if not more damaged than I am. I'm just worried you're bottling everything up."

Harry walked around the table to where I was sitting, picked me up and held me close.

"Merlin, Ben," Harry says softly as he sits back down with me on his lap. "You are amazing you know that? After everything that happened last night you still care enough to ask me if _I'M_ okay." At this compliment I shy away into Harry's chest, feeling it vibrate as he chuckles at my antics.

"I'm fine, Ben." He states firmly. "As long as you're fine, I'm fine. Yeah, I've got baggage, but now is not the time to unload it. I will." He adds as he sees me about to protest. "I will tell you every one of my dirty little secrets; one day when you aren't in such a fragile state. Until then remember, I love you and I just want to see you happy and safe."

I nod, satisfied. After breakfast Harry says he needs to double check some things with my surprise so I decide to explore, remembering to keep an eye on the time. Potter Manor was GIGANTIC and beautiful even the attic looked like something from a design magazine. It was an inspiring mix of staggering gothic French architecture with elegant modern furnishing. There was the a discrepancy in this overarching design in the breathtaking ballroom, which said, "Fuck you," to the French architecture and went straight to ancient Grecian pillars and motifs. My favorite part though was the garden filled with the most gorgeous and exotic, not to mention magical, plants. Of course they were all harmless, no Devil's Snare or Venomous Tentacula. I was surprised to see flowers like the Lady Slipper, which I knew was endangered and native to northern America.

As I explore I start to think about what Harry's surprise could be and what it had to do with forgotten rituals. I checked the time and figured I better get ready for everyone, so I head up to the guest room. 'I'll have to remember to ask Harry if I can just move my stuff into his room. It was nice sleeping in the same bed until the nightmare.' On that thought I went to take a shower.

About half hour later people started arriving, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, and Dean all arrived together and immediately surrounded me.

"Oh Harry, he's adorable," one or both of the girls squeals.

'What am I a puppy?' I think, but I let it slide.

"Merlin Harry-"

"How did you get so lucky-"

"You're paying him to be here-"

"Cuz there is no way this sex pistol chose you." The twins do their usual back and forth.

"Are you calling me a prostitute?" I ask, smirking, while still blushing at the appraisal, to tell them that I wasn't really mad at them.

"Of course not-"

"We're calling you an escort-"

"Nothing but the best for Harrykins." Both beaming at me, happy they could banter with me.

"So you're the new beau?" Ron asks, eyeing me in a way that said he was bi seeing as he and Hermione had been dating for about half a year now.

"Yep, I'm Ben."

"Oh he's American-"

"How exotic-"

"Harry, do we get to play with him too?" Fred hisses suggestively. I shiver 'cause honestly, anyone would at that sensual voice.

"Nope he's all mine and no one else's." Harry practically growls with possessiveness, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind me. This side of Harry was definitely turning me on, and I made a mental note to make come out a little more often

"Oh, Harry, you two are so cute together." Hermione gushes.

Everyone else arrives shortly and are really friendly and welcoming, even Snape! But I noticed Draco was a little distant, I thought nothing of it at the time. After lunch I found out why. Harry was telling everyone about my love of music and how I use it to get my feelings out, and everyone started singing their favorite songs, and when it was Draco's turn I realized why he was so distant. In fact his song told me everything I needed to know.

_I don't know what I've done  
><em>_Or if I like what I've begun  
><em>_But something told me to run  
><em>_And honey you know me it's all or none_

_There were sounds in my head  
><em>_Little voices whispering  
><em>_That I should go and this should end  
><em>_Oh and I found myself listening_

_'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_'Cos she will love you more than I could  
><em>_She who dares to stand where I stood_

_See I thought love was black and white  
><em>_That it was wrong or it was right  
><em>_But you ain't leaving without a fight  
><em>_And I think I am just as torn inside_

_'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_'Cos she will love you more than I could  
><em>_She who dares to stand where I stood_

_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call  
><em>_You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all  
><em>_But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you  
><em>_This is what I have to do_

_'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
><em>_All I know is that I should  
><em>_'Cos she will love you more than I could  
><em>_She who dares to stand where I stood  
><em>_Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood_

Draco was in tears by the end of the song, so was Colin, his boyfriend. Every one knew it was about Harry who looked incredibly awkward. Draco ran out of the room and Harry was about to go to comfort him, but I stopped him, "You're the last person he needs to talk to right now." Harry realized I was right and I ran off to find Draco. He was only a few rooms away staring into a fireplace, "Hey" I say startling him.

"What do you want?" He snarled.

"Oh, so I'm the bad guy when you sing a song about how you're not over Harry in front of him, me, his new boyfriend; Colin, your current boyfriend; and all of their friends." I snarl back. Draco is taken aback.

"Is Colin okay?" He asks worriedly

"He'll be fine as long as you go in there and tell him you're sorry." I tell him. "But first," I add seeing him going to get up. "I would like to apologize for snarling at you and I want to tell you I understand where you're coming from."

"I thought Harry was your first boyfriend?"

"He is, but I was in love once before. He turned out to be a jackass and couldn't accept that someone of the same gender could find him attractive without wanting to jump him. Which, I'll admit I did but I respected his boundaries, but he decided to cut off all communication and never speak to me again. So I get it, and if I were you I would be thankful for the time you two had. If you start stringing Colin along I will rip you limb from limb. Got it?"

"So you think just 'cause you've had a little unrequited love you understand what I'm going through, that you can tell me what to do?" Draco seethed.

"No, I would never insinuate that I can read you're mind and know exactly what you're felling right now." I explain in a calm voice, "but I do understand that you have a little blond ball of energy who thinks you are the moon, sun, and stars, and if you don't see that you don't deserve Colin and most definitely never deserved Harry. Now if you truly love that pipsqueak you let go of Harry and enjoy what's right in front of you. Understand?" I finish in a tone that I hope sounds commanding yet comforting.

"Yeah, thanks I needed to hear that, and for what it's worth, obviously that douche didn't know what he was giving up." He says smiling up at me.

"Thanks now let's go make sure your boyfriend is okay." I say wrapping my arm around him. We went back to everyone else and Draco immediately ran to Colin hugging him saying how sorry he was and how much he meant to Draco.

"Well, looks like you fixed everything." Harry says coming up behind me holding me around my waist and pressing light kisses on the back of my neck.

"Yep, I hope they're okay. They're good for each other." I say while thinking about nothing in particular. "Soooo, when do I get my surprise?" Harry laughs.

"Right now if you want it, but we need to go somewhere else."

"YEA, SURPRISE TIME EVERYONE! FOLLOW ME!" I say excitedly marching out of the room then stopping abruptly. "Umm, Harry where's the surprise again?" Everyone laughs at my overexcited-ness.

"Follow me." Harry says directing us to a part of the manor I didn't get to this morning. It looks like a dungeon and there is a pentagram on the ground and torches all around.

"Harry what is this?" I ask nervously.

"This, love, is my ritual room." He explains, like that's supposed to comfort me. "Ben, how would you like to be a wizard?" My jaw drops.

"But Harry how?"

"Well, all we need are a few wizards and witches willing too give up some of their magic. The more volunteers the less magic that has to be given." Harry explained looking expectantly at our guests.

"Harry, I can't ask them to give up there magic for me."

"But you need to be able to protect yourself." Harry insists.

"So, I'll take up tae kwon do or capoeira or some kind of self-defense thing, but I not going to ask people I've only just met to give up their magic for me."

"They won't be giving it all up."

"That's not the point." I yell frustrated.

"Excuse me," Colin interrupted quietly, "but why does Ben need to protect himself?" The rest of the group made a sound saying they wanted to know as well. I look at Harry silently begging him not to tell them.

"If they're going to do this they deserve to know." Harry says, I pout knowing he's right. "Ben was raped yesterday." The whole room burst into outrage, Draco and Colin looked particularly worried and immediately rushed over to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Should you be up?" The questions continued until Harry amplified his voice and told everyone to be quiet.

"I'm fine, we're just worried he'll come back." I mutter just loud enough for them to hear.

"That's why I want to do this." Harry says to me. "What if I'm not around again. I couldn't see you go through that again. You are so important to me, Ben." He says as he brushes my bangs out of my face.

"We'll do it" Fred and George say, interrupting our private moment.

"Us too." Says Draco and Colin. There are similar words from the rest of the group.

"Are you sure? You barely know me." I say believing this is too good to be true.

"That might be true," Sirius says, "but if Harry's willing to do it for you, you're obviously a good bloke and that's good enough for us." The group nods in agreement.

"Okay." I turn to Harry. "What do we do?"

"Everyone but Ben grab a knife and stand around the edge of the circle, Ben stand in the middle." We all do as instructed. "Now one at a time everyone around the circle will prick their finger and say the incantation 'Tibi dabo potestatem meam.' That's about it, though Ben you might feel a little light headed or drowsy after word." I nod to signal I'm ready. Draco goes first,

"Tibi dabo potestatem meam." Then Colin,

"Tibi dabo potestatem meam." Then Blaise and Seamus, and Fred and George, until it got back to my Harry.

"Tibi dabo potestatem meam." He says with the most loving look in his eyes. I feel a strange tingling swirl around me then seep into my bones. Then everything started getting blurry and my knees gave out. Harry caught me as I crumpled to the floor. Colin and Draco were quickly at his side.

"Harry, I'm sleepy." I slur.

"Then sleep, love."

"But what about everyone else?"

"We'll be fine Ben." Says Colin.

"Just get better, so we can teach you six years of magic in a little more than two months." Draco adds.

"Okay, night everyone." My eyes close as I fall asleep in Harry's arms dreaming of all the wonderful magic I'll learn.

**A/N: Hi again, I hoped you liked it. First, the incantation roughly translates to "I give you my power". Second, Draco and Colin are going to be the other main couple, and finally there are two ways this fic can end one with the death of one of the four main characters or they live happily ever after I am asking for your feedback on this issue because these are the only two options I see though if I can I would enjoy having a sequel depending on how well this one does and if I can think of enough plot. I've also thought about doing a one or two-shot story about how Draco and colin became a couple of course that will be after I am more than halfway done with this fic. I would appreciate feedback on all of these points as I only really have the next two chapters planned out after that it's a rough gist of what will happen.**

**Next time: Ben learns a lot of magic and a surprise visit. From who? You'll have to guess. XD**


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